EDITOR'S NOTE: This article is actually the final I submitted for my writing course at the New School. We were tasked with completing a creative research project, one where we would explore a topic of our interest through non-traditional research (a conversation with a friend, a quote from a non-academic book, an excerpt from a fun blog, etc). We were also tasked with finding ways to "experiment" with the piece and I did this through my unique journalistic format, citing images that were either of me or created by me, and sharing my own personal anecdotes. I've never been the most fond of writing about myself so this project allowed me a space to face this fear and produce something I actually take pride in. It's a lengthy piece, spanning over 10 pages on Google Docs so if you read all of this, I adore you! Life in plastic. Not so fantastic. It’s not easy being a girl that loves sports. It’s not easy being a girl. I recently wrote an article for my friend’s blog What In the World and explored the concept of femininity, particularly how it takes shape in my life. Throughout my childhood, I lived up to every societal stereotype about girlhood under the sun: loving the color pink, dressing up, enjoying Barbie shows and Disney Princess films. In fact, I conformed so much to this standard of girlhood that my parents actually worried I would become fragile and delicate. I was docile, polite, timid, so much so that it was honestly a miracle if I ever spoke up in class. “Femininity is formally defined as ‘qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of women or girls.’” - Kea Humilde I was seven years old when my dad sat me down and started having me watch American football with him. I was young and eager to spend time with my dad so I happily obliged. Sundays were spent in front of the television where I would learn about touchdowns, pass interferences and timeouts. I even started picking up on players’ names, reaching the point where I could name the quarterback for each of the 32 teams. You’d think someone who spent her days playing with dolls and planning her outfits would be bored to tears. But I loved it. I grew up in San Diego, California so naturally, my family and I were fans of the once-San Diego Chargers. I say once because the Chargers were in San Diego until 2017, when they moved to Los Angeles and ultimately broke my heart. (I will always consider this my first break-up). Plus, the fashion girl inside of me loved the pretty shades of blue and yellow the team donned every week, and that love only grew deeper as my understanding of the sport did. It was fun to yell at the television whenever I felt that penalties were wrongly given to my Chargers. I enjoyed playing head coach and questioning why certain plays were called, why they took timeouts when they did, why they ran the ball when it was 3rd and 13. I may have had a lot of questions, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have any answers. My understanding of the sport has only grown since that time and with over a decade of football-watching experience under my belt, it’s safe to say that I know some things. My mom even refers to me as “the walking sports network.” And the best part about that is taking people, typically men, by surprise. It’s no secret that the sports industry, especially football, is a male-dominated world and I’ve never seen it more clearly than when guys assume I don’t know what I’m talking about. Growing up, I may have been hesitant to join in on sports conversations, but as I grew older, I started caring less about the assumptions they would make about me. If anything, they worked in my favor because it allowed me to catch them off guard when I could break down the plays their teams made and explain why I disagreed with one of their coaches’ calls. And I guess it’s not every day that a pink-loving, skirt-wearing girl explains why your sports team sucks. Moodboard created via landing.space by Kea Humilde “It’s a blessing to live in this day and age, in a world where we are much freer to break societal norms and gender roles than our ancestors ever were. Yes, there is still pushback and other challenges to face, but that’s just part of life.” - Kea Humilde Femininity As Defined By Fashion Femininity became physically tangible in the Victorian Era (1837-1901) in the form of corsets. Designed to restrict women and shape their bodies into an unachievable hourglass figure, corsets became symbols of oppression and discomfort. A woman’s worth was ultimately dependent on the size of her waist, forcing her to quite literally remain immobile, suppressed and victim to fainting spells. However, the fashion industry is subverting this narrative with the increasing popularity of the undergarment. Vogue Magazine writes in their piece How Fashion Reclaimed the Corset: “But while yesteryear’s corsets have long been emblematic of women’s oppression when hidden underneath dresses, when worn with confidence out in the open now, they feel like a provocative expression of whatever wave of feminism we’re currently living through.” Kea Humilde captured by Magdalena Rodriguez It’s a testimony as to how something as simple as clothing can convey a powerful message. Where corsets were once synonymous with restrictions and female limitations, they are now being appreciated in a more (literally) outward and empowering manner. The corset revolution began in the 1970’s when late fashion designer Vivienne Westwood adopted the garment for her brand, turning it into a piece that fit her punk/rock aesthetic. It took off from there as designers like Jean Paul-Gaultier, Thierry Mugler, Stella McCartney and Yves Saint Laurent began incorporating corsets as part of their designs. They all had their unique interpretation of how to style the garment as per British Vogue, “...sometimes layering corsetry over garments rather than under them, subverting the piece from underwear to outerwear.” Period pieces like Bridgerton led to the rise of “Regencycore,” a style of dress that requires empire waistlines, ruffles, and yes, corsets. It rose to popularity during the pandemic, a time where we all wanted nothing more than to escape our homes. What better escape than the illustrious, romantic world of period dramas? It’s feminine and regal, but Gen-Z has embraced the garment and subverted the narrative. “And while the corset is, historically, the most feminine of pieces, made to accentuate and exaggerate a woman’s curves, it has lately become—the most democratic of garments, donned by any and all.” - Vogue Magazine And if you think corsets are the only thing fashion has turned into a symbol of female liberation, think again. The color pink has found its way into cult-status and not just because of the hype surrounding Greta Gerwig’s upcoming Barbie movie. Italian luxury label Valentino dressed half of their models, both men and women, in its now-signature pink hue for their Fall 2022 collection. The show was a major success, spurring the almost-unanimous movement to incorporate the once-girlish color into menswear. Even outside of Valentino, the color is continuing to gain traction. Shakaila Forbes-Bell expressed in The Hot Pink Renaissance, a piece by ELLE Canada that “‘Treating hot pink as a gender-neutral color is no longer revolutionary, and that in itself is kind of a big deal.’” “‘The adoption of the color by men is a reflection of our culture’s active move away from traditional gender roles.’” - ELLE Canada Kea Humilde captured by Magdalena Rodriguez But what’s interesting is that the concept of pink being a color for both genders has never been a revolutionary concept. According to Britannica, all babies were dressed in white up until the beginning of the 20th century. “In 1918 the trade publication Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department claimed the ‘generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls’” (Cydney Grannan, Britannica). It wasn’t until the 1940’s that pink became popular for girls and blue for boys. The perception of these particular hues has fluctuated over the past couple of decades, but with the constantly blurring lines between menswear and womenswear, it’s safe to say that these colors are for the most part, gender neutral. “The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl” - Britannica Femininity As Defined By Sports The barring of women from playing sports was a hypocritical decision layered with double standards. Dating back to the 19th century, women were discouraged from exerting themselves in physical activities that weren’t tennis, archery, croquet, or swimming. An article by the National Women’s History Museum shared that 19th century America “[retained] inconsistent ideals about females’ innate ability to endure pain, injury, and manual labor” (Morris). But at the same time, textile mills and other large-scale factories had “women and children [working] unregulated hours in life-threatening conditions” (Morris). The idea that women should be prohibited from exerting themselves in sports merely because it was “unladylike” or “improper” just reveals how deeply rooted misogyny is, especially if less-fortunate women were exempt from this belief. And despite the fact that we’re in the 21st century now, hundreds of years later, the disparities of men and women in sports is still prevalent. A study done by Athens Journal of Sports reveals that in order “to be powerful athletes and succeed in the sports world, women must embrace attributes usually considered as masculine, while simultaneously maintaining their feminine identities. In doing so, many female athletes perceive themselves as being different from other ―ordinary females who do not partake in sports” (Mean and Kassing). It’s a shame really, to realize that despite the breaking of gender stereotypes, particularly in the sports world; it implies that a woman must relinquish her femininity if she wants to earn respect. “The price of being mentally and physically strong has caused female athletes to be labeled as butch, not feminine, or lesbians.” - Athens Journal of Sports Female athletes aren’t the only women facing this issue in the sports world. My research for this piece, particularly for this section about femininity in sports, led to a rabbit hole revolving around my initial and very broad, Google search: women in sports. I’ve always found myself drawn to the women who work in sports media, the reporters who get to broadcast on and off the field, the analysts on Good Morning Football and NFL Network. Charissa Thompson, Mina Kimes, Erin Andrews, just to name a few. I even remember the first time I saw Kay Adams, my favorite sports analyst to date. Adams is not only the most fashionable sports reporter I’ve ever stumbled across, but she is also one of the most knowledgeable. Screenshot taken from Kay Adams (@heykayadams) via Instagram It’s exciting to see women taking the court and participating in the frequent debates and discussions that take place on major sports platforms, but I’ve found that they’re still being sidelined, limited to serving as mediators. The calm that settles debates, keeps the conversation flowing. The most prevalent issue, however, is the perception of all of these women. My Google search had me skimming through headlines like “The Most Beautiful Female Sports Reporters” or “Top 10 Hottest Female Sports Reporters and Presenters.” It wasn’t until I nearly reached the bottom of the page that I was able to find articles that actually looked deeper than the reporters’ beauty. I was ecstatic to find Interview Magazine’s piece about Kay Adams. Formerly one of the lead reporters on Good Morning Football, Adams moved on to start Up And Adams, where she dives into NFL’s biggest headlines with different former and current players. Interview Magazine sheds light on these endeavors, writing how, “Female anchors on these programs are often deputized as moderators of a sort, introducing topics for their male co-panelists to then debate, Adams had come to transcend the role, acting as both diplomatic host and bona fide expert in her own right.” It’s typical to take one look at Adams and dismiss her of any and all credibility, but that couldn’t be more ignorant. She is truly one of, if not the biggest trailblazers for women in sports media, and it’s inspiring to watch her discuss Lamar Jackson’s new contract and Rob Gronkowski’s advice for new NFL drafts in her expertly curated outfits. She is truly a testimony to the concept of embracing femininity in a male-dominated world. “I wasn’t just somebody passing everyone else the ball. I had things I wanted to say. And now, I have a whole hour where I can say them, and make the decisions about who the guests are.” - Kay Adams for Interview Magazine Femininity As Defined By Me I don’t think there’s a one-size-fits-all definition for femininity. As I wrote in my piece for What In The World, “Femininity is formally defined as ‘qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of women or girls.’But what is characteristic of women or girls?” Masculinity and femininity are simply labels that are meant to categorize us, to separate us. It’s natural instinct for human beings to group themselves with like-minded people and if not them, it’s the society that governs them who will create these categories. As someone who’s walked the line between femininity and masculinity all her life, I think we shouldn’t label ourselves with either of these traits. We should be free to find our own passions regardless of stereotypes. Our passions shouldn’t even be the factors that determine our gender identity. One more anecdote I’ll share was part of the journey walking this imaginary line. It’s also just one of my favorite stories to tell. When I was a senior in high school, I asked the Chargers quarterback, Justin Herbert, to my prom. It was a challenging endeavor, and not just because he’s a professional football player whose attention would be hard to get. It was also because I didn’t want to seem like the girl that watches football just because she finds the players attractive. I’d created my own personal rule to never get attached to a football player in a romantic sense. I thought it would discredit my entire existence as a girl who actually loves the sport. But that went out the window when Justin was selected by the Chargers in the NFL Draft back in April 2020. So in January of 2022, I devised an elaborate plan to get Justin’s attention. I started by creating a digital poster that read, “Hey, you’re good at completions. My senior year would be complete if you went to prom with me, Justin Herbert,” featuring a photo of me posing under a large banner of him. I then took to messaging all 71 players on the roster, tacking the graphic on with it so they would know I was being legit. I actually did get a response from one of the practice squad players, Damon Lloyd who fully supported the cause but “didn’t know Justin all that well.” Graphic created by Kea Humilde via Canva When I saw that the messages weren’t very effective, I decided to repost the graphic to my Instagram stories every day. In these reposts, I would tag all of the players, mostly offense guys since they worked with Justin the most, NFL analysts, even going as far as some of Justin’s family. I was determined to say the least. A month went by and at this point, I was honestly getting a little discouraged. I could have saved myself some time had I just asked some boy at school. But that was just it, I didn’t want to conform to the narrative of going to prom with a guy, even if I didn’t know him. It had to be Justin. Finally on February 17, 2022, I received a message from the Chargers via Twitter. I was in the library when they asked for my address, telling me, “we have something for you from Justin.” I had no clue what this meant but I was ecstatic nonetheless! Justin couldn’t come to my prom after all, but I did get an autographed helmet from him, accompanied by a note. Sure, I didn’t get the high school, fairytale-esque storyline I saw in all the chick flicks, but I still got my happy ending. Photo of Kea Humilde captured by Kolee Humilde I hope one thing that can be gathered from these 10 pages is the encouragement to love whatever you love. It doesn’t matter what other people think, what this means for your identity, etc. because you are the one creating and determining your identity. For me, it looks like being a Barbie in the sports world. It’s different for everyone, but I hope the world you make out of it is fantastic. Collage created by Kea Humilde via PicsArt
(Left: Captured by Magdalena Rodriguez. Right: Captured by Heather Lubeck)
3 Comments
Sue
6/2/2023 04:36:27 pm
An awesome piece of writing! You go, girl! Bolt up!!
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